Renewal (2004)

I’ve stepped away
because I didn’t know what else to do
I dropped the bricks I had carried for so long
…and the dust rose around the broken pile
the dust rose into the sky
as I turned and walked away
slow motion in my mind
and suddenly I could…breathe…
the sun was setting
as I watched my own shadow — embracing it as we walked away,
embracing it so tight, the shadow of my spirit
I’m coming home, I’m coming back…
this is what I have found
now that I’ve let the bricks crumble
now that I’ve stepped away,
the dust settled slowly over the ledge now, out of sight
the dust glowed in the setting sun
and I thought —
the dust could have been me,
could have been
coming undone.
But it wasn’t
and it’s not.
walking away from the past, I glance up to the sky
now knowing how it feels to believe so strongly in something…
to feel….
Falling, now I’m falling….
to a place
I haven’t been in years —
I’ve fallen to my knees.

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