What can I say that I haven’t tried to tell you before?
I have tried to turn my voice into a machine
at times, thinking my words may drill
understanding into your head, your heart, anything.
I failed at that. Or you failed at that.
It doesn’t matter anymore.
What’s done is done and it exists
forever now. My heart is heavy with the weight
of the world, always has been.
But somehow I allowed you to make that heaviness
in comparison to the way judgement looks
in your eyes.
I can’t compare anything to the times I’ve felt so abandoned
by the person who promised for better or worse.
I laugh about that now. Sometimes I look at you
in your laid back ways, never
letting anything bring you down,
and I get it.
I get that you couldn’t possibly understand
the turmoil that turns my mind…
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