Too funny!
- “I read 50 Shades of Gray. It was interesting.” Right. I was enjoying my meal but now…
- Adding “for your age” to any sentence. A swing and a miss in the compliment arena.
- “Hold on. I need to take a selfie.” Selfies are never needed.
- After a meal: “Oh God I’m so full.” A simple “Loved the meal” will suffice. How you stuffed yourself to discomfort can remain a secret.
- “You look tired.” Gee, thanks. I didn’t realize. Now I’ll go about my day as normally as possible.
- When giving a present: “It was on sale.” Pat yourself on the back for the bargain instead of announcing it.
- When receiving a present: “Is there a gift receipt?” Woe is the gift giver in this situation!
- “I need more fiber in my diet.” Eww.
- “Do you want your upper lip waxed?” This should never be offered. Ever. End…
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Parrots, Prose, and Poetry 